Melissa and Tyler

Melissa’s life hasn’t been an easy one… As a child she didn’t have much support or guidance from her family. “I was scared because my mom wasn’t around much, I didn’t really have that mother figure… I had lots of emotions and I didn’t know how to deal with them. And I didn’t have anyone around to talk to about what I was feeling.” Melissa started using drugs to numb and to cope. “I was what you’d call a functioning addict,” she says. When Melissa was 18, her mother passed away and she was left feeling untethered in her grief. Although Melissa had a steady job, she started using drugs as a coping mechanism more often than she wanted to admit.

Suddenly, Melissa discovered she was pregnant. “My whole world changed. I wanted to do the best I could for [my daughter].” Unfortunately, her baby, Tyler, was born substance exposed, and when the hospital told Melissa that she tested positive, she had to come to terms with her denial.

Melissa was determined to get Tyler back, so she entered a treatment program at Terros Health. Melissa worked hard to participate in DCS recommended programs including drug testing, in home services, twice weekly support groups, and she also participated in the family preservation program through DCS. “Finally I got the call that I could pick up my daughter… and I was ecstatic.”

Things were going well for a while until Melissa was laid off from her job. At this point, Melissa started using again and DCS had to step in and take custody of Tyler. “It was one of the worst days of my life,” she recalls. Through a lot of ups and downs, hard work and determination, Melissa was able to reunify with her daughter and retain custody long term. “Parents can get better, I’m living proof that we can,” she says today.

Melissa is grateful for a lifelong relationship she’s built with Laura, the foster mom who cared for Tyler for a time. They support one another through the good and the bad and see each other for holidays and summer breaks. “It’s a connection that will probably never go away,” she says.

In 2015 Melissa’s DCS case was closed for good and she started a new career helping others who are struggling with addition. Today Melissa has two master’s degrees and works at Terros – the same agency where she first received help. “I couldn’t be where I’m at today if it wasn’t for [DCS] stepping into my life.”

“Every day is a challenge. It’s hard... Life gives us choices and we have to navigate them. You have to show up,” she says. Since she started at Terros almost 9 years ago, Melissa has had many roles and now works as a therapist helping other parents who are on a similar path.

“We know that you love your kids. That’s not the question. The question is can you parent your kids safely without the use of substances?” Melissa is that person who is in the trenches with her clients, cheering them on every step of the way. She says “I am the last person that's gonna judge you, but I'll probably be the hardest on you because I've been there and I know that you can do it.”